What is a threat?

If someone points a gun at me, that’s a threat. But if someone disagrees with me, is that a threat?

If I feel secure in my self worth regardless of whether I’m right or wrong, regardless of whether I’m productive or unproductive, regardless of whether people like me or don’t like me, then what is a threat?

When I feel excited that my idea was challenged because it’s a chance to learn, if noticing that I’m unproductive is a warning that I might be burning out, and if people not liking me is a signal that I need to work on my relationships, or that maybe I’m around the wrong crowd, then none of these things is a threat. They’re data.

And if we can notice those times when data feels like a threat, there’s an opportunity to see something in ourselves that needs care and attention. A place that may be hurt or neglected.

Learning to notice the difference between a real threat, and when we feel threatened is a powerful skill, not only for healthier relationships with others, but most of all, to strengthen our relationship with ourselves.

Can you think of a time when noticing that something felt like a threat helped you to learn more about yourself? What do you do to practicing noticing more?